Wow. Today is like 2 more days to cny. Everyone is really busy doing house chores. I'm stuck at home doing nothing. Looks like I'm the only one guy not needing to do any thing. Just waiting for cny to over. Hope it'll be all over soon. Really don't have any mood to celebrate, after that many things happened. While others are busy helping out their parents out, I'm asking my friends to get out from their house to accompany me. Really tired now, didn't sleep much yesterday, is sleeping 2 hours considered sleeping? Actually this morning is basketball day, no one showed up, except me and wey keet. Played a while with a bunch of kids then off we go for snooker session. Compared to him, my skills sucked to the max.
I wish I could just stay at home during this cny. No mood to see my relatives. Cause in front of them, I need to give that smiley face 24/7. Yea, getting angpows doesn't make the whole situation better. Getting few hundred bucks will not help in my college funds. So far I have to travel back to my parent's hometown. I'm sick of traveling for long hours. After the penang trip, sitting at the seat for 6-7 hours irritates me. So please, understand me if I dissappoint you.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
A dark night
The only sound I heard now is the air-conditioning and my own breath. I'm feeling real alone now. Finally the echos of my parent's bragging are gone. I can be peaceful again and think. It's already 4am in the morning, too late to sleep, too early to start the day. At this period of time, I should really think about my future. Stepping nearer each day, to the day where results are announced. Means that my long holiday is more than half gone. Formulas are not seen in my mind right now. I hope that time will move with more pace, so that I will not stay like this. I'm starting to hate myself, for not starting my holiday plans. No mood for anything.
I guess, I will be alone for a long period of time. It's really hard to find a companion as understanding and as fun as you. You gave me hope. Your smile guides me through hardship. Your voice brings me back when I was about to quit. Your laughter lets me forget all the pain temporarily. Now, all hope fades. At least, you helped me through hardship. I happily wave good bye and thank you for the good time we had in the last few months. I'm not emo, just briefly describe the status you have in my heart.
I will stay strong and face whatever obstacles that I may face. But this time, I'm going to face it alone. I'm wondering whether I should follow my parents to hatyai next week. They're begging me to go. Following them means boredom and mostly, the weekend that promises a whole lot of fun and reunions. Ahhhh, I badly miss most of them. Hopefully, all will turn up. Haihz, I'm still thinking of a reason to not follow my parents.
I guess, I will be alone for a long period of time. It's really hard to find a companion as understanding and as fun as you. You gave me hope. Your smile guides me through hardship. Your voice brings me back when I was about to quit. Your laughter lets me forget all the pain temporarily. Now, all hope fades. At least, you helped me through hardship. I happily wave good bye and thank you for the good time we had in the last few months. I'm not emo, just briefly describe the status you have in my heart.
I will stay strong and face whatever obstacles that I may face. But this time, I'm going to face it alone. I'm wondering whether I should follow my parents to hatyai next week. They're begging me to go. Following them means boredom and mostly, the weekend that promises a whole lot of fun and reunions. Ahhhh, I badly miss most of them. Hopefully, all will turn up. Haihz, I'm still thinking of a reason to not follow my parents.
Decisions
After months of thinking and deciding, I've finally made my mind. Few resolutions have been made by me before this year starts. Gladly, I've starting to see bits of images that I will fail miserably this year.
My close friends know that some problem had been bugging me for months. Though it looked like a small problem for them, but no one could understand my feelings and what consequences it might bring upon. And yes, it's the relationship thingy again. I'm not particularly sad about it. Just a mild regret that I always take things for granted and not taking chances when they are in front of me.
Without me actually noticing, somethings have been happening. She isn't telling me about that, but I've already found out. The promise that have been made are already broken, nothing can mend it back. It's not betrayal or any sort. It's just my fault, I'll receive the result, eventhough it's bad. I'm letting her go. Even if that feeling never come back to me again. Anyway, you had made me finally know what I want. I will take this lesson like a dude.
My close friends know that some problem had been bugging me for months. Though it looked like a small problem for them, but no one could understand my feelings and what consequences it might bring upon. And yes, it's the relationship thingy again. I'm not particularly sad about it. Just a mild regret that I always take things for granted and not taking chances when they are in front of me.
Without me actually noticing, somethings have been happening. She isn't telling me about that, but I've already found out. The promise that have been made are already broken, nothing can mend it back. It's not betrayal or any sort. It's just my fault, I'll receive the result, eventhough it's bad. I'm letting her go. Even if that feeling never come back to me again. Anyway, you had made me finally know what I want. I will take this lesson like a dude.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Take one day at a time
Take One day at a time
Do not look back and
grieve about the past,
for it is gone.
Do not be troubled
about the future,
for it is yet to come.
Live in the present,
and make every moment
you live worth
remembering.
This is the only good thing that had happened to me today. Saw this went seeing the dentist, orthodontict to be exact. Lots of shits happened today. Started the day well, but some few problems happened all of a sudden, just struck me right in my face. I'm not angry about anything or anyone, I'm just angry about myself, for being such a coward. Hopefully something will cheer me up.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
I wish..
... that moment would come back again. I went inside your room before going bed. Didn't quite see your face clearly. But I know, that you were just as attractive and beautiful. I would give you a kiss on your forehead. Then tell you how much I love you and really mean it.
Sigh. Shouldn't had missed it.
Sigh. Shouldn't had missed it.
The game and stuffs
Saturdays, as usual when out for a game of basketball with ex-schoolmates. Turns out today we hit a low in attendance. So we decide to switch to play in Batu 11, as we can't play any game with 5 fellas. Not really interesting. I'm still trying to find my oldself again. I'm not playing well at all these days, felt like I'm the one that drags the time down. However, I successfully saw glimpse of my oldself today, but just for 1 game. The opponents are unusually hard to bet today. As there is only 5 of us. We are lack of scorers and stronger guards, no one to handle the ball.
Played real hard but still loses. Just highlight one game, where we got our rare win. Our team was being played tough, the opponents just have the height. Outplayed and tired, minds trying to think of a play to get some points, all of us putting full concentration on the game. Everyone in the court wanting to get a win. Gasping for air, the opponent scores a basket, we were down 9-5. I'm not tired but ran out of ideas. As usual Wey Keat keep talking and talking and talking at the sidelines, keep throwing harsh comments on me, which I ignored.
We got the ball, I got the ball and scores from the side wing, 9-6. Winner's ball, I got a pass, then shoots from the other side wing, and scores. I wasn't real pleased, we were still trailing, this game is first to 11. Then I got the ball from my teammates again, drove in, pass to open teammate, shot missed. Then the opponent scores again, 10-7. Desperate to win, opponents got too excited and we got the ball. I got the ball, used abit dance move to do a fake, and shoots and scores. I got the feeling back again. The feeling that I have lost for quite some time.
Trusting me, teammates got me the ball, I gave my opponent that you-can't-defend-me eyes, did a crossover and a powermove, I scores and never wanting to win so badly. Still down by 1 ball, Wey Keat said "How good if we can hit a long-ranged shot, 3-pointer, which would grant us the 2 points needed to win in this game format. Then, I just took the ball and shoots from long, and it hits ths basket, I pumped fist knowing that I had scored a victory for the team.
Ok la. This is just 1 game, from the other 6 games that we have played, we lost 5 of them. I know, we are lousy. How good if I could go to the past and regain my youth. I missed the pure feeling of mixing friends, where we make pure friendship. Now, some friends we make because they will benefit us, we keep using our friend to rip some benefit. Even I does that sometimes, I'm not really a social person, but I do force myself to be extra-friendly people that are smart or rich or they will benefit me in some way. I know I'm wrong, I have acknowledged the problem, I just can't help it.
And other, the pure feeling of just liking someone, remember the days where I just so like that girl, without any reasons. The pure feeling just doesn't exist anymore in me, in fact, my intention towards people is not just purely pure, get what I mean. Ok, I'm really in love with someone now. Saya tak hansem, jadi tak ada teman wanita. My feeling towards her is not 100% pure. Some of them are infested with lust and desire. Perhaps 1 day I will transform into a monster and do something real bad, but right now no.
I'm still wondering what is my feelings so screwed up. After all, I just fall in love twice before. I mean really in love. I really can't figure what had happened to me. There's no way the fault is from my parents or friends. I shall seek the truth someday. I dunno what is happening to me lately, seems like my feeling are crazily imbalance. One moment I can horse-laugh, the other moment I will have no mood to communicate with people. I really need some guide now, I'm abit lost. Felt like I have totally lost out. I don't dare to tell the truth to someone, even knowing that not telling will have bad consequences. I desperately need that someone to give me back the confidence I once had, really. I can't think properly now. I'm have been thinking to much, stop telling me, start helping me!!!!
Btw, sorry for the emo-ness. My mood is just swinging tremendously, tiba-tiba macam perempuan. Fake LOL.
Played real hard but still loses. Just highlight one game, where we got our rare win. Our team was being played tough, the opponents just have the height. Outplayed and tired, minds trying to think of a play to get some points, all of us putting full concentration on the game. Everyone in the court wanting to get a win. Gasping for air, the opponent scores a basket, we were down 9-5. I'm not tired but ran out of ideas. As usual Wey Keat keep talking and talking and talking at the sidelines, keep throwing harsh comments on me, which I ignored.
We got the ball, I got the ball and scores from the side wing, 9-6. Winner's ball, I got a pass, then shoots from the other side wing, and scores. I wasn't real pleased, we were still trailing, this game is first to 11. Then I got the ball from my teammates again, drove in, pass to open teammate, shot missed. Then the opponent scores again, 10-7. Desperate to win, opponents got too excited and we got the ball. I got the ball, used abit dance move to do a fake, and shoots and scores. I got the feeling back again. The feeling that I have lost for quite some time.
Trusting me, teammates got me the ball, I gave my opponent that you-can't-defend-me eyes, did a crossover and a powermove, I scores and never wanting to win so badly. Still down by 1 ball, Wey Keat said "How good if we can hit a long-ranged shot, 3-pointer, which would grant us the 2 points needed to win in this game format. Then, I just took the ball and shoots from long, and it hits ths basket, I pumped fist knowing that I had scored a victory for the team.
Ok la. This is just 1 game, from the other 6 games that we have played, we lost 5 of them. I know, we are lousy. How good if I could go to the past and regain my youth. I missed the pure feeling of mixing friends, where we make pure friendship. Now, some friends we make because they will benefit us, we keep using our friend to rip some benefit. Even I does that sometimes, I'm not really a social person, but I do force myself to be extra-friendly people that are smart or rich or they will benefit me in some way. I know I'm wrong, I have acknowledged the problem, I just can't help it.
And other, the pure feeling of just liking someone, remember the days where I just so like that girl, without any reasons. The pure feeling just doesn't exist anymore in me, in fact, my intention towards people is not just purely pure, get what I mean. Ok, I'm really in love with someone now. Saya tak hansem, jadi tak ada teman wanita. My feeling towards her is not 100% pure. Some of them are infested with lust and desire. Perhaps 1 day I will transform into a monster and do something real bad, but right now no.
I'm still wondering what is my feelings so screwed up. After all, I just fall in love twice before. I mean really in love. I really can't figure what had happened to me. There's no way the fault is from my parents or friends. I shall seek the truth someday. I dunno what is happening to me lately, seems like my feeling are crazily imbalance. One moment I can horse-laugh, the other moment I will have no mood to communicate with people. I really need some guide now, I'm abit lost. Felt like I have totally lost out. I don't dare to tell the truth to someone, even knowing that not telling will have bad consequences. I desperately need that someone to give me back the confidence I once had, really. I can't think properly now. I'm have been thinking to much, stop telling me, start helping me!!!!
Btw, sorry for the emo-ness. My mood is just swinging tremendously, tiba-tiba macam perempuan. Fake LOL.
MUET
As told, yours truly had successfully gotten band 5. I was too lazy/emo-ed to go take the result slip, though I'm in school on thursday. Sad enough, no one got a blardy band 6 in our school, much to the disappointment of people like Hannah and Zhi Wang, with has a higher understanding in english compared to me. Haha, you guys have the same grades as me, we are all equal now. I don't care whether is scored a 259 or a 220, it's still a big high five. I'm actually quite proud having the same grades with few of our school's finest. I'm abit proud, but I wasn't happy at all. Sigh.
HAHA... Make people dulan me oni.
HAHA... Make people dulan me oni.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Hello
This is me, in case you dunno who am I. Too lazy to upload any photos. Guess I will just settle with this. Note, I didn't know how this photo was taken. Just woke up, and brushing my teeth.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Expected
What I expected really came true. Sadly I didn't feel particularly happy about it. Told you that something is really bothering me right now. I was real scare to know about my MUET results. Until I was told by classmates that I got a band 5, which is what I really hope and expected to get. I'm suppose to be happy, and I was, for a moment, until the question pop in my mind again, "Are you ready to face the problem now?". Now that I really got my band 5, I should do what I have promised. Suddenly, I'm a coward.
Problems aside, went to have lunch in IZZI with classmates. Ordered the few usual dishes. The food was nice, but I begin to feel bored. Having dining in this restaurant quite often. Note I always orders the same dishes. The only plus side is to be able to enjoy high-class food in low prices. Talked about games until making those none-players felt bored. Bad bad friends I know. One more thing to add, can IZZI management hire staffs that can speak decent or correct english. We doesn't seem to communicate well with them. When I ask them to refill my beverage, the staff replied "Shall I refill your liquid?". I broke into laughter, much to the disrespect. And our 'before-meal' apple struddle turns out to be the desert of our meal. Felt abit unsatisfied with their service. Gave them 30 cents tips.
Then at the evening talk about my future education with mom. I'm quite offended when she attempted to take a loan that doesn't worth it. Make me felt like dragging the whole family down with my wild imagination going INTI. I do not want to burden my family too much. I will work really hard to obtain scholarships, I hope. I already have a thought about my future yesterday night, when I was emo-ing about something. When will I start working and when to start a family, if I get to find the right one. Now the right one is suppose to be the one that I'm eyeing for. When can I be brave enough to face the truth? Not much time left for me. I'm really emo-ed.
Problems aside, went to have lunch in IZZI with classmates. Ordered the few usual dishes. The food was nice, but I begin to feel bored. Having dining in this restaurant quite often. Note I always orders the same dishes. The only plus side is to be able to enjoy high-class food in low prices. Talked about games until making those none-players felt bored. Bad bad friends I know. One more thing to add, can IZZI management hire staffs that can speak decent or correct english. We doesn't seem to communicate well with them. When I ask them to refill my beverage, the staff replied "Shall I refill your liquid?". I broke into laughter, much to the disrespect. And our 'before-meal' apple struddle turns out to be the desert of our meal. Felt abit unsatisfied with their service. Gave them 30 cents tips.
Then at the evening talk about my future education with mom. I'm quite offended when she attempted to take a loan that doesn't worth it. Make me felt like dragging the whole family down with my wild imagination going INTI. I do not want to burden my family too much. I will work really hard to obtain scholarships, I hope. I already have a thought about my future yesterday night, when I was emo-ing about something. When will I start working and when to start a family, if I get to find the right one. Now the right one is suppose to be the one that I'm eyeing for. When can I be brave enough to face the truth? Not much time left for me. I'm really emo-ed.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Not happy
I'm not happy at all now. Should really get the problem solved instead of evading it. That thing had already gotten the best of me. Sorrow had conquered me. I can't do anything now. Should stop Playing RO, staring at the screen and hitting monsters alone only increase my sorrow. Great, now I'm feeling real emo. Tears may be dripping if I'm not controling it.
The burden had just gotten heavier day by day. I'm suffocating. It's too heavy now. What can I do to decrease it? Or even get it of for a secong or two. Never really knew that result waiting can be so torturous. I don't wanna face the MUET result. I may face agony if I did badly. I won't be extra happy even if I achieve my target. What's wrong with me now? I have no one to share my problems. I can only keep it for myself.
I can't let my life continue like this. I felt useless right now. Thought that I could really start my plans. I was wrong. I'm feeling real depress right now. Can't focus on anything. GET THE ISSUE DONE, YOU FREAK!!!!!! I'm not fixing the problem. I shouldn't chicken out at this vital moment. I will step up, face everything ASAP. No time to hesitate right now, let's hope that everything turns up good.
The burden had just gotten heavier day by day. I'm suffocating. It's too heavy now. What can I do to decrease it? Or even get it of for a secong or two. Never really knew that result waiting can be so torturous. I don't wanna face the MUET result. I may face agony if I did badly. I won't be extra happy even if I achieve my target. What's wrong with me now? I have no one to share my problems. I can only keep it for myself.
I can't let my life continue like this. I felt useless right now. Thought that I could really start my plans. I was wrong. I'm feeling real depress right now. Can't focus on anything. GET THE ISSUE DONE, YOU FREAK!!!!!! I'm not fixing the problem. I shouldn't chicken out at this vital moment. I will step up, face everything ASAP. No time to hesitate right now, let's hope that everything turns up good.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Abit about form 6- Start of Upper Six
During the holidays, it's just basketball, outings, tuitions and chemistry experiments. No time at all for myself, unlike now. Going out everyday. The holiday is a breeze. One blink of an eye and it's gone. Highlights: Went Genting with zhi wang, robson, and lots of wang's cousin's friends. Wasn't a spectacular trip, but it's the time that me and robson started to get close. We rarely talk to each other in lower six. Our hang out time increases tremendously.
Ok, nothing spectacular about being the senior of the school, except we get transferred from the physics lab to some old and ugly class, which makes us the 'kelas terkotor' quite often. And yeah, I have yet to start study that time. Basketball training daily, back home real tired, obviously no mood to study. Trained real hard, but the team wasn't convincing at all. Got beaten real hard by State Champions in a friendly match.
Trained daily for 2 months, didn't study, didn't complete any homework. There comes the Inter-Zone competition. We were late to the first competition. Only 5 members reach when the match started. When I reached and changed into the jersey, the first quarter had just ended. Haihz, lost the game feeling emo. No time to warm up before hand. Our competition came to an end when we got beatten in the quarter finals. There marks the end of competitive basketball for me.
The competition forces me to skip 3 days of my Ujian Pertama. The I got some dengue-like disease. When I got fever, I thought I was a small illness. The illness got more serious as days go. I got admitted to the hospital where I was diagnosed with suspected dengue. The fever gone soon after put the headache and rashes still bugging me. Continue to go hospital for daily checkups. Keep taking blood out from me till I get 'dried-up'. Yes, 3rd day was really funny. The nurse put the needle in me, but no blood came out. She tried on the same vein but still no blood. Imagine the pain I'm facing after being 'poked' 3 times.
This is till March, April and May is kinda dry. I was trying to catch back all the lessons that I had ignored for the past few months. And ya, mid-term exams on May. I finally passed Maths T for the first time in form 6. Sad case though, I failed my chemistry badly, considering the fact that chem is the only subject that I passed in lower six. After mid-term, relaxed a while before finally decided to study harder.
Though it had been very unproductive. It had been the best time of my life. But soon after I realized my mistakes for not studying. If I don't work hard to achieve results, I won't be able to succeed in the future. If attending school just having fun without giving in hardwork, then I shouldn't go form 6. I don't wanna regret not studying once more. For this 1 year of fun, i'll have to pay my whole life for it. Even till now, tiny bits of regret still exists in my mind. What will my STPM results be? I don't wanna dissappoint anyone, especially myself.
Ok, nothing spectacular about being the senior of the school, except we get transferred from the physics lab to some old and ugly class, which makes us the 'kelas terkotor' quite often. And yeah, I have yet to start study that time. Basketball training daily, back home real tired, obviously no mood to study. Trained real hard, but the team wasn't convincing at all. Got beaten real hard by State Champions in a friendly match.
Trained daily for 2 months, didn't study, didn't complete any homework. There comes the Inter-Zone competition. We were late to the first competition. Only 5 members reach when the match started. When I reached and changed into the jersey, the first quarter had just ended. Haihz, lost the game feeling emo. No time to warm up before hand. Our competition came to an end when we got beatten in the quarter finals. There marks the end of competitive basketball for me.
The competition forces me to skip 3 days of my Ujian Pertama. The I got some dengue-like disease. When I got fever, I thought I was a small illness. The illness got more serious as days go. I got admitted to the hospital where I was diagnosed with suspected dengue. The fever gone soon after put the headache and rashes still bugging me. Continue to go hospital for daily checkups. Keep taking blood out from me till I get 'dried-up'. Yes, 3rd day was really funny. The nurse put the needle in me, but no blood came out. She tried on the same vein but still no blood. Imagine the pain I'm facing after being 'poked' 3 times.
This is till March, April and May is kinda dry. I was trying to catch back all the lessons that I had ignored for the past few months. And ya, mid-term exams on May. I finally passed Maths T for the first time in form 6. Sad case though, I failed my chemistry badly, considering the fact that chem is the only subject that I passed in lower six. After mid-term, relaxed a while before finally decided to study harder.
Though it had been very unproductive. It had been the best time of my life. But soon after I realized my mistakes for not studying. If I don't work hard to achieve results, I won't be able to succeed in the future. If attending school just having fun without giving in hardwork, then I shouldn't go form 6. I don't wanna regret not studying once more. For this 1 year of fun, i'll have to pay my whole life for it. Even till now, tiny bits of regret still exists in my mind. What will my STPM results be? I don't wanna dissappoint anyone, especially myself.
Untitled
I think I have just gotten the spark to start things that I have planned for this long holiday. I just received a really bad news. I should be in a really sad state now. But I'm wrong. My sadness wasn't as much as I thought it would be. Instead, I felt a little happy because finally I have to mood to continue my plan. I don't know what's wrong with me. Most probably my mood will swing tremendously this few days. Friends beware.
Oh, MUET results will be up this thursday. I think I will be too afraid to actually check my results. If I get a band 4 or lower it would be suicidal. Why does everything had to happen now? Hopefully I will get a band 5 *prays hard*.
The problem that I'm looking forward to solve meet a crossroad. Should I just go forward where I will meet unknown obstacle, or just make a U-turn back to my own world? Feeling hesitant. I'm feeling real alone right now, as if nobody cares about my existance. I'm feeling real weak right now. Tired of keep chasing things that I want. Maybe it's too far-fetched or I didn't try hard enough? Questions that will not have a clear-cut answer. Keep asking myself...
Oh, MUET results will be up this thursday. I think I will be too afraid to actually check my results. If I get a band 4 or lower it would be suicidal. Why does everything had to happen now? Hopefully I will get a band 5 *prays hard*.
The problem that I'm looking forward to solve meet a crossroad. Should I just go forward where I will meet unknown obstacle, or just make a U-turn back to my own world? Feeling hesitant. I'm feeling real alone right now, as if nobody cares about my existance. I'm feeling real weak right now. Tired of keep chasing things that I want. Maybe it's too far-fetched or I didn't try hard enough? Questions that will not have a clear-cut answer. Keep asking myself...
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Random
David Archuleta's 'Crush'
"Why did I keep running from the truth?
All that I can think about is you..."
So true la, complete made me impressed.
Something that I had thought of last month.
Imagine the situation...
You're sitting just beside your favourite boy/girl. Your heart is beating real fast. He/she is fast asleep. You can't control your eyes that couldn't stop looking at the face of the someone that you really like. You are wondering what things you could do to make him/her happy. And most of all, would accept you as a lover and not just a normal friend. After a split second, you realize that you can't have the beautiful person that is just right in front of your eyes.
This happens to me quite recently. It suppose to be really emo-ish la. My vocalbulary doesn't have all the suitable words to describe this. I will soon write about stuffs that have happened a few months back, my pre-STPM and post-STPM.
"Why did I keep running from the truth?
All that I can think about is you..."
So true la, complete made me impressed.
Something that I had thought of last month.
Imagine the situation...
You're sitting just beside your favourite boy/girl. Your heart is beating real fast. He/she is fast asleep. You can't control your eyes that couldn't stop looking at the face of the someone that you really like. You are wondering what things you could do to make him/her happy. And most of all, would accept you as a lover and not just a normal friend. After a split second, you realize that you can't have the beautiful person that is just right in front of your eyes.
This happens to me quite recently. It suppose to be really emo-ish la. My vocalbulary doesn't have all the suitable words to describe this. I will soon write about stuffs that have happened a few months back, my pre-STPM and post-STPM.
Some thoughts
I kinda like the song Gotta Be somebody by Nickelback. Really sings out the feeling in me. Therefore rising yet another question. Can anybody be that somebody that everybody cares? Some people worked real hard to please others. Yet they do not get attention from anybody. They are always cornered by peers. I have seen many cases of those. Maybe because people are getting more materialistic, the friends they make must be either rich or good-looking. I'm wondering. Not being good-looking, but filled with a sincere heart, will everyone give you a second look?
Today, I meet an old-friend. Our relation last time was good. But his personality has alot of flaws, no comments about his looks. He is getting attention from alot of people because he is rich. Being able to book one floor at a famous club to celebrate his bday. However, he is always splashing money to attract people from other gender. Always boosting about every pretty lass that hangs out with him. He has totally transformed after leaving MBS. The outside world had mould him into a different guy. People that we would dislike.
On the other hand, I would love to have his perception towards live, being positive everytime. But me, always thinking about worst case scenario. Everytime a problem arises, I would think about the worst thing that would happen when I screwed it. I'm still proundly claiming as a 'realist'. Yup, my ego had gotten the best of me, again. Btw, one of my new year resolution is to throw away my ego. I don't understand how I got that. I'm just a underachiever that has succeeded in nothing.
Today, I meet an old-friend. Our relation last time was good. But his personality has alot of flaws, no comments about his looks. He is getting attention from alot of people because he is rich. Being able to book one floor at a famous club to celebrate his bday. However, he is always splashing money to attract people from other gender. Always boosting about every pretty lass that hangs out with him. He has totally transformed after leaving MBS. The outside world had mould him into a different guy. People that we would dislike.
On the other hand, I would love to have his perception towards live, being positive everytime. But me, always thinking about worst case scenario. Everytime a problem arises, I would think about the worst thing that would happen when I screwed it. I'm still proundly claiming as a 'realist'. Yup, my ego had gotten the best of me, again. Btw, one of my new year resolution is to throw away my ego. I don't understand how I got that. I'm just a underachiever that has succeeded in nothing.
When you curse someone from their back
I was having my super long nap at night, my phone rang, picked up the phone, "Oi! Let's go Gu Tin Lok. Coming to your house now." Still in blur state, I dragged my aching body up and went to the bathroom. Got changed and down to the guard post. Ok, I shall cut the crap.
As usual the Wong Kok gang, we ordered our food and started our 'chui sui' session. The highlight of our conversation was about Zhi Hao, some old friend cum foe, etc, someone that we hated. Typical session where you talk bad about people. Around 1am we ciao and back to robson's car, wanting to continue our session in other mamak's.
The bugger forgot to off the light of his car, and can't start the car. Now what can 4 guys and broken car do? Hence, we come out the idea of pushing the car. We pushed to car a few times, but our effort came to no avail. We walked to a petrol station to get battery water. Thank goodness we still have to mood to joke around. Imagining what last words we should say to our loved ones. (Hint: the goalkeeper in shaolin soccer)
There, we went to Steven's corner to our 2nd venue of the night. Talking and talking and talking again. We eventually got bored and decided to head home around 4am. We are all lifeless teens. Maybe we shouldn't comment about people in their backs again. I hate to push the car again.
I'm still wondering whether I should go edu fair tomorrow. Seems like my choices of university are UTAR or INTI. Robson had already inquired about the courses today. Man, UTAR needs 60k while INTI needs 260k. I really would like to go overseas to study. But 260k is not a small amount. I'm still thinking, very hard to make a choice. Hope that by God's help I would be able to find a solution when I get my STPM results. Problems, problems, problems!!!
As usual the Wong Kok gang, we ordered our food and started our 'chui sui' session. The highlight of our conversation was about Zhi Hao, some old friend cum foe, etc, someone that we hated. Typical session where you talk bad about people. Around 1am we ciao and back to robson's car, wanting to continue our session in other mamak's.
The bugger forgot to off the light of his car, and can't start the car. Now what can 4 guys and broken car do? Hence, we come out the idea of pushing the car. We pushed to car a few times, but our effort came to no avail. We walked to a petrol station to get battery water. Thank goodness we still have to mood to joke around. Imagining what last words we should say to our loved ones. (Hint: the goalkeeper in shaolin soccer)
There, we went to Steven's corner to our 2nd venue of the night. Talking and talking and talking again. We eventually got bored and decided to head home around 4am. We are all lifeless teens. Maybe we shouldn't comment about people in their backs again. I hate to push the car again.
I'm still wondering whether I should go edu fair tomorrow. Seems like my choices of university are UTAR or INTI. Robson had already inquired about the courses today. Man, UTAR needs 60k while INTI needs 260k. I really would like to go overseas to study. But 260k is not a small amount. I'm still thinking, very hard to make a choice. Hope that by God's help I would be able to find a solution when I get my STPM results. Problems, problems, problems!!!
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Abit about Form 6- Start
Form 6, what a coincidence. Let me tell how I get in there. I shall start from the day I got my SPM results.
March 2007, I got my SPM results. It wasn't as good as I thoght of. I only obtain 7A's, 3B's and a C. I was real disappointed for a while. I was aiming for 10A's, bite me. I thought I was smart then and didn't seriously studied when I was form 4 and 5. I hated form 6 till then, cause the school rules are abit to strict and I'm sick about it. Well, being in MBS for 5 years will make you MBSians. I mean we are abit strange. Till then, I thought my future would be in Sunway or Taylors. That disappointed result is not enough to convince my parents into sending me there.
Yeap, I can only choose between TARC or form 6. After some deep thoughts, I felt like going to form 6 gives me a chance to redeem myself, most importantly, a glimpse of hope into going in local universities. A-levels means more money spent into education, not a wise choice. I'm trying to ease my family's burden. Fyi, i have a sister who is studying medicine in Russia and my family ain't rich (I'm quite money minded).
Starting of form 6 wasn't as lonely as I thought, having old classmates like kye hoong, dinesh, zhi wang, ling keat made my life better. Ling Keat left us after a month or so. Soon, one of my to do's in form 6, get a post in IT brigade (note: I was the 1st treasurer in the board), I'm aiming for the vice-president post actually (form 6 can't be president =.=). I still have some influence in the board (I'm power hungry). Somehow I manage to snatch that post beautifully. So mission 1 accomplished.
Don't ask me about how I did in my exams. I failed in flying colours. That's all that is important in my Lower Six life, pathetic ya, maybe I have forgetten things, forgive me.
March 2007, I got my SPM results. It wasn't as good as I thoght of. I only obtain 7A's, 3B's and a C. I was real disappointed for a while. I was aiming for 10A's, bite me. I thought I was smart then and didn't seriously studied when I was form 4 and 5. I hated form 6 till then, cause the school rules are abit to strict and I'm sick about it. Well, being in MBS for 5 years will make you MBSians. I mean we are abit strange. Till then, I thought my future would be in Sunway or Taylors. That disappointed result is not enough to convince my parents into sending me there.
Yeap, I can only choose between TARC or form 6. After some deep thoughts, I felt like going to form 6 gives me a chance to redeem myself, most importantly, a glimpse of hope into going in local universities. A-levels means more money spent into education, not a wise choice. I'm trying to ease my family's burden. Fyi, i have a sister who is studying medicine in Russia and my family ain't rich (I'm quite money minded).
Starting of form 6 wasn't as lonely as I thought, having old classmates like kye hoong, dinesh, zhi wang, ling keat made my life better. Ling Keat left us after a month or so. Soon, one of my to do's in form 6, get a post in IT brigade (note: I was the 1st treasurer in the board), I'm aiming for the vice-president post actually (form 6 can't be president =.=). I still have some influence in the board (I'm power hungry). Somehow I manage to snatch that post beautifully. So mission 1 accomplished.
Don't ask me about how I did in my exams. I failed in flying colours. That's all that is important in my Lower Six life, pathetic ya, maybe I have forgetten things, forgive me.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Ugly
Urghhh... I just had my worst basketball session ever. It's not like I pick up an injury or something. Probably the worst game played in this 3-4 years span. Maybe it's because I didn't have enough sleep. Perhaps I should blame on my skills. Put more passion in it. The feeling sucks. All i see is teammates trying hard to cover me up.I felt useless, again. Guess what? Some stuff have been running on my mind again. Tell you when i'm ready. Probably never.
Ya, on the other hand, I realized that my thoughts on the game is somehow immature. Playing with old time great players like wai leong and wilson certainly changed my view. Maybe to achieve greater heights, I have to put down my ego (this triggers another memory of mine). Their style of playing is so different now. Unselfish and having fun. Hmmm, I haven't been enjoying lost for such a long time. I'm going to have another session of basketball tomorrow. It should be the correct time to put on some new thoughts.
Fyi, my style of playing is selfish and always wanted to carry the team. I suck.
**********************************************************************
Played again on sat, some old style but slightly different result. Maybe this time with weaker opponents. It's me having serious shooting slumps la. Never played for 4 months due to STPM. Must train back some shooting skills. Now all moves that I have left are long-ranged and mid-ranged shots. I should really get going and sign up for fitness first as I had planned. But my sleep-in-the-morning schedule can't accomadate them. Darn! Have to sacrifice gaming.
Ya, on the other hand, I realized that my thoughts on the game is somehow immature. Playing with old time great players like wai leong and wilson certainly changed my view. Maybe to achieve greater heights, I have to put down my ego (this triggers another memory of mine). Their style of playing is so different now. Unselfish and having fun. Hmmm, I haven't been enjoying lost for such a long time. I'm going to have another session of basketball tomorrow. It should be the correct time to put on some new thoughts.
Fyi, my style of playing is selfish and always wanted to carry the team. I suck.
**********************************************************************
Played again on sat, some old style but slightly different result. Maybe this time with weaker opponents. It's me having serious shooting slumps la. Never played for 4 months due to STPM. Must train back some shooting skills. Now all moves that I have left are long-ranged and mid-ranged shots. I should really get going and sign up for fitness first as I had planned. But my sleep-in-the-morning schedule can't accomadate them. Darn! Have to sacrifice gaming.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
wait for a while more.
I am trying to recall everything i had done a few months back. Busy playing RO now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)